I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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