I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
