you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
