would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hippo gnu deer
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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