The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
