I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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