Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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