billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
