Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
