You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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