you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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