Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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