Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
