The maid of honor just puked.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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