I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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