I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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