He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
