Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
