Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
