Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My life is pants optional.
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