no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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