it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
