i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't deserve a penis
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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