Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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