I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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