Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
