so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
