now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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