Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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