Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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