THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
