Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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