I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
