Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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