actually, I'm a sock model
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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