that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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