It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
