His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
