my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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