so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
