you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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