Sry I called you an 8
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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