You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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