she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
