Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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