I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do vagina's smell?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
