Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
