I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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