just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i have herpe
just one?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
