census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
