The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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