Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
