I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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